three steps forward and two steps back

It has been an interesting journey so far in learning to abide in Christ. Now I struggle with impatience so I would love to see a whole lot of progress. But this is a journey of steps. Steps I take and steps that are implanted into my heart. So alas, it takes time.

But as I reflect on the past month or so, I thank God for the steps He has led me to take.

  • It’s been about a month of not watching television. And the crazy thing is I don’t really miss it. Now television in and of itself is not bad. It’s how we use it that determines its value. For me it was a step in applying Phil. 4:8-9-“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” For me it was a step to think about things that I often ignored while watching tv. It’s been good.
  • I continue to take steps to overcome fear with a decision to abide in Christ. Do I still have fears? Yes. Do I still worry? Yes. But not as much. I am learning to admit and take my fears to God in a more intentional way. I am learning to make a conscious effort to abide and remain in Christ. I am learning to open my heart to receive more fully the love of God because perfect love casts out all fear.
  • I am learning to go to God with all my stuff. To lay it at His feet and rest in His presence. It’s still a challenge but understanding that I need to give Him all the stuff really helps. It’s so easy for me to just hold on to things, let them swirl around in my head and heart and even burden and weigh me down. I wish I had less stuff, especially heart stuff that burdens me but that is life. I am learning that God is more than able, and willing, to take my stuff. He just wants me to come into His presence, let go of my stuff to Him and rest there.

I look back and it’s encouraging to see where God has taken me. It might be three steps forward and two steps back but it is progress. I think of Phil. 3:13-14.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

It’s funny how very familiar verses take on a whole new meaning depending on the situation you are in. And more importantly, what the Holy Spirit wants you to know at that  time. So yes, I thank God for this journey and I press on!

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