Tag: God’s love

in Jesus’ Name!

Reading Andrew Murray’s “With Christ in the School of Prayer,” has been such a great companion on my sabbatical. The book is organized conveniently into 31 chapters so I can read a chapter a day. This is my second month of doing so and it has been transformational!

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!”  John 14:13-14

Murray writes, “He (Jesus) wanted to teach them and us that His name is our only, but also our completely sufficient, plea. The power of prayer and its answer depend on the right use of the name.” I read that and thought about all the times I prayed, “In Jesus’ name.” I thought about why I did so. Well, Jesus did say so here in John 14 as well as in John 16. But being totally honest, so often, I say those words automatically, in a very rote, end-of-a-prayer kind of way. I even rush through those words, especially when I’m hungry!

But Murray reminded me and challenged me that it is far more than a way to end a prayer. Far more! He writes,

“What does it mean to do a thing in the name of another? It is to come with his power and authority, as his representative and substitute…What does it mean when Jesus gives us power over His name–the free use of it–with the assurance that whatever we ask in it will be given to us? Jesus solemnly gives to all His disciples a general and unlimited power to use His name at all times for everything they desire. He could not do this if He did not know that He could trust us with His interests and that His honor would be safe in our hands.”

Wow! Closing my eyes, I thought about the truth of what Murray was writing. Suddenly, a relatively recent event came to mind. Last December, Jo and I were blessed with a trip to Arizona to join up with very close family friends to watch their son play in a football game. We have known this family for years, watching our kids grow up into adults. I can’t tell you what I thrill it was to finally get to see him play in person. We prayed consistently all through college and now as he plays in the NFL. As we walked with our friends to the stadium, I get a text from their son. He tells me to go to the will call window to pick up some passes for after the game. There were passes for the families to greet players following the game before they headed out. I showed the text to my friend and said, “Isn’t this just for the families of the players? Am I now His asian uncle?” He laughed and said, “Yup, that’s what you are. You are family.” So I said okay and went to pick up the passes.

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Our instructions were to go down after the game, show the pass and give the security the name of the player we were family with. For some silly reason, I was a bit nervous going down after the game. After all, I was not aware of any Asians on that team. But we followed along, got to the area, gave his name, and lo and behold, they let us in! I guess I am his Asian uncle!

Anyway, as I meditated on the truth of praying in the name of Jesus, I thought, “If giving a name of a professional football player could get me access where the general public was not allowed, that is nothing compared to the power of the name of Jesus! It’s not even close. It’s not even in the same universe!” And if I was so thrilled to give a name of a person, to say, “Yes, I know that player. He’s family,” how much more thrilled should I be to give the name of Jesus, the King of kings and the Lord of lords! Really, that should be the thrill of all thrills!

The profundity of that truth and personalizing it, brought me to my knees. This was no small thing. This was far more than an end-of-a-prayer thing I say.  This is something powerful. This is something to be held with much reverence, awe, honor and respect at the power of God and His trust in us. It was also another breathtaking example of God’s great love for me. That God would entrust me with His name! To think that He loves me enough to trust me with His interests and that His honor would be safe in my hand. This was God saying, “You are family!” 

That truth leads me and draws me closer to Him. I want to be worthy of that trust and honor. It doesn’t lead me to be flippant but to more passionately seek to bring glory to Him in all that I do. It motivates me to seek Him in greater ways so that I would be in totally alignment with His will.  And from out of that alignment, I can pray with confidence, asking in the name of Jesus. What an amazing thing! May I never again just say those precious and powerful words, “In Jesus’ name!”

another step…

 

yes, Jesus loves me

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”  Romans 5:5

I struggled with the truth that God loved me for a long time. Questions like, “How could God love a person like me?” “Why would God love a person like me?” had no answers. Even as a child, there was a false belief that the one true God, the God of the Bible, loved white kids, black kids, but not Asian kids like me. Why believe such a crazy thing? But as silly as this sounds, every picture, every book, everywhere I saw a picture of Jesus surrounded by children, none of the them looked like me. That’s crazy, I know. But as a little guy, I just made that nutty assumption.

Then later when I placed my faith in Jesus, I knew in my mind that Jesus loved me. It said so in black and white in the Scriptures. I mentally believed that. I had to. But within my heart, there was more hope than faith. I hoped He loved me. I hoped He accepted me and died for me. I hoped, but I didn’t necessarily believe that in my heart.

In fact, I felt I needed to earn God’s love. I had to show Him that I was worthy of His love. I had to repay God for all He had done for me. Alas, it’s a debt that is impossible to repay, but for years I tried. I tried really hard.

Then on a fateful day in 1984, my father suffered a massive heart attack. Upon hearing the news, we rushed over to the hospital, praying the entire time. Praying for healing. Praying for mercy. And for 5 minutes. 5 minutes. I asked God that even if this was time for my dad, I wanted just 5 minutes to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him. Just 5 minutes. We arrived at the ER and was told that despite all their efforts, my dad didn’t pull through. All I felt was numbness. Numbness and the reinforced false belief that God didn’t truly love me. I couldn’t even get 5 minutes so I needed to do more.

Paul tells us in Romans 5:3-4, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” And God is true to His Word! Even in the toughest situations in our lives, God is doing something. He is strengthening the hope we have in Jesus. He’s doing so whether I believe it or not, whether I feel it or not. But the best part, the game changer for me is what Paul writes in verse 5. In light of all that I go through, all the lies I believed, the hurts, the pain, the confusion, anything and everything, He’s been at work in my life. The truth is, God has always been there. God has always loved me. Yes, God does love even Asian kids! 

On a very, very special day, the Holy Spirit filled my heart with His love. On that unforgettable day, God made it very clear to me that despite my crazy ideas, He indeed did love me. and began to fill my heart with His love. Despite the confusion I felt when my dad passed away. Despite all the times I felt God wasn’t there or all the times I felt my prayers didn’t make His ears. It was 27 years ago today God showed me clearly how much He really did love me.

You see, since high school, my biggest dream was not being rich or famous or successful. It wasn’t even to have a comfortable life. My biggest dream was having a wonderful family. That was it. A wonderful, close knit family. A loving wife and children to love. And I wanted a daughter, at least one. I did want sons. Every dad wants sons. But for some reason, I always wanted my firstborn to be a girl. Well, 27 years ago today, God, the Holy Spirit, filled my heart with His love. It was 27 years ago today, August 18, 1990, that we welcomed our firstborn,  our precious daughter, Michelle, into our family! With all the lies in my mind, I just couldn’t believe that she was real. I couldn’t believe that God would love me enough to make my dream come true. I remember just staring at her, with wonder and a love I had never experienced before, the love of a father! I remember carrying her from the birthing room to the nursery. Never in my life did I carry something so precious in my arms.

That was the beginning of God filling my heart with His love and dusting away all the lies I had believed. It was the beginning of truly experiencing God’s love in my heart and not just my head. It was the beginning of experiencing the amazing love of my Father, who loved me for who I was and not what I did. It has been a process. I am still under construction. But that was the beginning. Happy Birthday, dear daughter. Thank you for being a living reminder of God’s love to me. Thank you for being you. May the Holy Spirit fill you to overflow, God’s love for you. Happy Birthday!

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a look back, and another step…